I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize