whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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