Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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