He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize