saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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