Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
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Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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