I just saw a hot homeless man
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
