I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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