You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
