It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
