I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
