it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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