I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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