i just identified you from a description of your pipe
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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