Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
