i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
