Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
