I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
