How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
