Pants 0. Shit 1.
accomplished twins. life is a go
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
