i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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