Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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