I feel like I'm in dance class right now
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
