Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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