Don't you send me to vm
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
