Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Randomize
