my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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