For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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