so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
