Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
