Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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