Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
