We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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