I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize