When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
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It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
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