it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You took a bar mat shot.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
