HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
