The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
