I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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