It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm like, not good at living.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
