Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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