# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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