just tell him i said nine months
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
