I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
