I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
