Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
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I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
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Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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