she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize