my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
