I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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