hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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