Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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