Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
