If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think a kid would responsible me up
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
