Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize