i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
