Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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